moi!

moi!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Beast In Disguise

WARNING-extremely long but worth the read....enjoy


“Tokunbo, do you really think he is the right guy for me?” I said. “Sheena, you know you have to forget the past and at least give him a chance.” “I don’t know toks, I really don’t know. I will sleep on it and give you a feed back in the morning. Let me go to bed now, I have a long day at work tomorrow. I will talk to you after work tomorrow.” “Ok Sheena, sleep well. Good night.” After the long conversation I had with tokunbo about this special guy I was up for a couple of minutes thinking about my future, tried to see if there would be a future between this guy and I. I will give it a try but I have been hurt so many times I don’t want that again…I slept off while wondering and pondering about this guy.
It was dawn before I knew it. I woke up smiling and as always I stood outside on the patio for a little fresh air before my usual morning jug. I went jugging and said hello to my neighbors while at it. As I turned on my iPod, the song that started playing was “we belong together” by Mariah Carey. Immediately I changed the song to something to pump me up. After a 2 mile jug, I came back to my humble abode to get ready for work. As usual, took a shower for about 10 minutes, got dressed and stepped out till night.
“Miss Sheena what would you like for me to get you and oh by the way, you also have a couple of missed calls from Dr James and this man who says his name is Ishmael also one from fluid entertainment. He says you should call him back ASAP.” Thank you Carol, I would like a cup of my usual signature hot chocolate from Starbucks and I didn’t forget about my meeting and I will give all those people a call back as soon as I can. “Anything else for you ma’am?” No Carol that will be all.
A guy walked into my office, he was a co-worker. “Do you not have manners or have you no common sense to see that the door was shut which implies knock before you enter?” I said. “That’s not a good way to start the morning you know, you should have at least said good morning to me before going off one me” Justin said, and who the hell are you to come into my office without knocking and stupid enough to think I would greet them after such rudeness being displayed. “It’s not even that serious Sheena, all I want to do is talk to you.” Clearly I don’t want to talk to you so please leave my office. At the top of his voice, “That’s the attitude that is keeping men away from you, you think the whole world of yourself, you have no patience for no one, why do you think you don’t have a man or rather why do you think men run away from you, all I wanted to do was have a simple conversation with you but there you go getting rude.” “You have no rights to come into my office uninvited, you have no rights to yell at me, you don’t know anything about me so please get the hell out of my office before I call security on you.” “Fine I’ll leave your office but I will leave with this brief statement, that attitude of yours will get you nowhere.” “Just get out of my office; I don’t want to ever see you again.”
I thought to myself, what nonsense, how rude, what attitude is he talking about? I don’t have any mean attitude, at least I think so. I left the issue there and continued with my daily work. While on hold with fluid entertainment over the phone, what Justin said earlier about my attitude kept popping into my head in different forms like,” you will have no man”,” your attitude is whack”…hello? Hello? Hello? This is DJ smooth of Fluid Entertainment, is anyone there? “Oh sorry, this is Sheena with Kini Big Deal Entertainment, I got a call from you all but I was unable to get the message hence my call back. Oh yes, I remember calling to speak with you in person, I was thinking about a collaboration with your agency you know. “No I don’t know, I’m listening.” Ok it’s like this since you all host parties and sign up-coming artist onto your label and also since you all happen to be the richest music entertainment industry in the whole of East America, we thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to collaborate with you all when you have parties and things like that. The interest will be split 60/40, although negotiable.” Do you see where I am coming from? “No I don’t see where you are coming. If you truly want to collaborate with my company, then you are going to have to come up to me with a good itinerary stating all the things you want, with concrete reasons backing them up and also suggest you get a lawyer just incase I consider what you have just said. Actually I really cant consider what you just said because it sounds like a mess to me, so in case you haven’t heard, whenever you want to come up to me to make a proposal, the first step you might want to consider is making an appointment with my personal assistant. I have nothing more to say, so thank you for your effort and try again next time. Have a good day! And immediately I hung up the phone. I thought to myself again, “what foolish way to come up with a proposal. I wonder what people think about these days, it just makes no kind of sense. A loud hiss followed after that statement! As usual, I continued with my daily work and while doing this, I drifted off again into an entire world of thoughts. Only this time, the thoughts I had where about this guy tokunbo and I were talking about the night before. “Should I brush him off my shoulder? Should I give him a chance? Should I bring myself back to earth? Am I really too feisty and stern? Was Justin right when he said men run away from me? Armani doesn’t run away from me, he is trying to get to know me better but I don’t know why I keep pushing him away, maybe I should just give him a chance.” Just then, I heard a knock on my door. “Who is it? Come in” It was Armani, I couldn’t believe it, I wasn’t expecting him and more so I was just thinking about him. “Hey there Sheena, I have knocking on your door for a minute, didn’t just want to barge in so I kept knocking, you must have zoned out not to have heard me.” I thought to myself, not only is he 6 feet tall of chocolaty goodness, he is also a fine brother with a nice body and yes he is polite. “Oh hey Armani, I wasn’t expecting you, I don’t recall setting a meeting with you.” I reached out to give him a hand shake and he returned the gesture, only that he had a bunch of flowers in his hand, lilies, and the kind I love and handed it over to me. I smiled and said thank you afterwards. “So what brings you here Armani?” “I just thought to stop by your office to see if you wanted to go get lunch or something because I just realized that we work on the same street.” “Oh that’s very nice of you Armani; sure I’d love to go to lunch with you. Just hold on, let me clear up a little bit and grab my purse and coat. A few minutes later… “I’m done clearing up, lets be on our way” I said. “After you mademoiselle…”OMG he even speaks French” I smiled and said Merci.
Over lunch we basically talked about our likes and dislikes, hobbies, what schools we went to, what we majored in and you know all the basic stuff. I was really nice to him; I wasn’t my usual saucy, feisty, spoiled brat. In fact I was proud of myself that I could go a whole lunch period without being mean to someone. He dropped me back at my job and asked me out on a second date, of course I agreed, I mean who wouldn’t want to go on a second date with a fine man like himself. The day went by so fast, I don’t know why, maybe because all I could think about was him. Immediately I got home, I called tokunbo up and told her all about how the lunch date went with Armani and I. She was very proud of me I must say, I’ve never heard her so excited...Well in ages though.
Several days, weeks and months went by and I was still with Armani. During that period of time, he asked me to be his girlfriend of which I agreed. We did almost everything together. It was like I was living the good life, he gave me everything I wanted, he told me a lot of things I wanted to hear. He was just very good to me. I had feelings attached to him, I had what some people call Love for him. The feeling was so great; I had never felt such way before. One Saturday morning, Armani called me and said I should meet him at the park and I asked what for, he said just come and he hung up immediately. I had mixed feelings about the impromptu meeting. I got dressed and went straight to the park without hesitation. As I walked into the park through the park entrance, I noticed the rose petals on the floor and a note by d gate of the park that said “follow the rose petals.” It was a little spooky but I did it anyways. As I approached the water falls, I noticed a bird poodle on the side and further down was a platform. Placed on this platform was a box that read “open me.” As I opened the box, I heard a soothing melody playing in the background; I turned to my side and saw no one. Inside the box was a princess cut pink diamond ring that must have cost a fortune. I screamed when I saw this, then all of a sudden I heard someone talking, I turned my back and saw Armani, he was on one knee and he said to me “ Sheena, these past few months have been wonderful, I have come to understand you and how you operate, I know this might seem a little too sudden and I know you weren’t expecting this, but baby I want you to be my wife, my life, the one I would come home to every night, the one I would wake up beside every morning, the light of my life, the angel in my dreams, my rock, my princess, my everything, please accept this proposal.” He held my hand and the ring in d other…He said “baby, I cannot put this ring on you if you don’t give me a response.” Tears rolled out of my eyes, I had never experienced such in my entire life, I didn’t think I would see this day, with a little hesitation, I said yes I will be your wife. He slipped the ring into my finger right after that, he stood up and gave me a big hug and a kiss followed after. He cleaned my tears with his hands and said “from this day onwards, I’m here for you to cry all you want, I will be your rock, I will be your shoulder to lean on, I will be your friend, I will be your best friend, trust me and I will never break your heart.” I sniffed a little bit and smiled and the rest was history.
Immediately, he asked me to move in with him but I refused. He convinced me later on to move in with him, he had good reasons to back the notion up so I agreed. After a month I moved in with him, and everything started changing from then onwards.
One morning, I woke up and Armani wasn’t beside me, so I walked out of the room and found the house clean, breakfast made and all that in a basket. I was pretty surprised, I looked for Armani and he wasn’t there, so I just ate a little breakfast, took a shower and stepped out of the house to work. When I got outside, I found my Benz convertible sparkling clean, Armani had detailed my car. I went into the car and it smelled very good. I called him but he didn’t pick up his phone, I sent him a text when I got to work but I got no response. After the day was over, I went home and found Armani sitting down on the couch. He looked very furious and angry, so I walked over to him knelt down in front of him to ask what the problem was. Immediately, he pushed me to the side and stood up with force. I was so shocked, he yelled at me saying he did all those things he had done in the morning for me and I couldn’t even utter a word of “thanks”. I told him that I had sent him a text message and called him but I didn’t get a response. I stood up and said “baby, I know you cannot be getting upset ‘cause of something as little as this.” He pushed me real hard this time, I fell on my wrist and he said “You have no rights to tell me whether or not to get angry at whatever.” I hurled and said, “Armani you hurt me, my wrist hurts, I felt like I had broken a bone or something, “ take me to the emergency room please.” He said “Take yourself to the emergency room, I only pushed you there is no way you could have broken a bone.” I stood up and stormed out of the house and went straight to the hospital. They had to perform a surgery on my hand as I had broken my wrist.
Before I knew it was morning and as I looked at my hand I saw a cast on it and I cried deeply. I called for the nurse to call my husband to be and he came down as soon as he heard what happened. He came into my sick room and asked if I was ok, I didn’t utter a word to him… He knelt down and apologized and pleaded. He said someone had annoyed him at work the day before and I was the prey he took it all out on. I accepted his apology but I didn’t tell him that I did because I was enjoying seeing him plead. I was discharged from the hospital the next day and ever since that incident happened, Armani had been very good to me; he would drive me to work, make diner and breakfast, and do the laundry and all other stuff that required using the hands.
After a couple of months, we started planning our wedding and our future, if we wanted to have kids and so on. We started sending out invitations and making our guest list and all that just so that the wedding didn’t flop. We arranged for a comedian and all other fun stuff, we arranged for two different limos and we just made sure every thing was on point for the wedding. Obviously we hired a wedding planner, we weren’t the cheap ass couple, well Armani is kind of cheap but we managed to plan the wedding.
A year later we were married and I was pregnant. You know how it feels when you just get married and you think all is good and then you get pregnant and you still think all is good. Well mine was a mixture of both good and bad feelings. I was having silly thoughts about my marriage, but as my carefree side took over me, I didn’t care, I overlooked the thoughts. I was happily married to Armani for the first few months but after that I felt like I was living in hell. Every little misunderstanding we had, Armani would beat me knowing fully well that I was carrying his baby or should I say babies. I had a miscarriage after the first encounter with Armani’s beating the first time, I was pregnant with twins and I lost them. I had made up my mind that I would never forgive him as long as I lived but when you have God in your life, you just have to let go of some certain things and let him in. I forgave Armani and I got pregnant again, this time it wasn’t with twins. During this period of time while I was pregnant, I went through a lot of things with Armani. Armani would just come home from work after a bad day and start blowing curses on my head, throwing tantrums at me for no just cause. I called the police on him so many times but they did nothing. I thought about what I was doing wrong, I figured Armani was just depressed because I make more money than him. Armani graduated with Philosophy as his major and I graduated with Business Administration as my major and biochemistry as my minor which makes me more flexible to both the sciences and the business. He worked as a bill collector and I worked as the C.E.O of Kini Big Deal entertainment so the difference was very clear. All this didn’t bother me, because we still lived in a huge house with 5 bedrooms and didn’t really have problems with paying bills.
It was a Saturday morning, Armani wanted to go out and I needed him to drive me somewhere because I had really become heavy, I was 7 months then so I got really tired very easily. I begged Armani the night before and he said he would take me there and pick me up when I was done. So as Armani was about to leave the house, I said Armani, “aren’t you going to take me to that place” and Armani said “woman find your own ride I am not your chauffeur.” I walked up to him and said “baby but you promised”, he looked at me and said “look woman I don’t have your time right now” and he pushed me away. I fell down on my gluts and hurled a little bit, he didn’t even look back at me. With the anger and rage in me I stood up and screamed, I picked up one of my heeled shoes and threw it at him. The heel of the shoe hit him right in the middle of his head, with immediate effect he turned and slapped my face. I screamed and slapped him right back and held on to his shirt. I looked him in the eyes while crying and said “I have had enough of your bull shit, I cannot take it anymore, I have had to put up with you for too long, you would take your anger out on me and I would keep quiet. You mistook my silence for weakness; Armani let me tell you something…” He slapped my hand of his shirt and said “Never in your life hold me by my shirt…” I interrupted and screamed “HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME?” Then I reduced my voice and said “If you ever place a finger on me again, I swear between God and man, you will never see peace, you will never see the light of day. What did I do to you? I have stayed faithful, you broke my hand remember and it wasn’t hard for me to forgive you, you made me have a miscarriage also remember and I still forgave you, what more do you want?” He ran upstairs and picked up a belt and immediately he started flogging me with it. As he flogged me with it he said “I’m not a mad man if that’s what you are thinking, you have no respect for me, you think because you are pregnant, you can do whatever you like.” I stood up and ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and I said “Armani if that belt should touch me, I swear down, I will stab you to death and I don’t mind going to prison for this, my God in heaven see’s what you are doing to me, you are fighting me for no just cause, I have never cheated on you, yet I see the text messages and phone calls from all those sluts you get. You think I’m crazy, you think I don’t know what I am doing, you cheat on me and I still cook for you, I still welcome you when you come back home with a hug even though you push me away, I still pay the bills when you have no money, I still buy things for you, I still give you everything you want and need and this is how you pay me? I have done nothing but love you ever since we started talking, I let you into my life knowing the kind of person I am and this is how you are going to pay me. As a matter of fact I want you out of my house immediately, I don’t want to ever see you again, because if this is what marriage is, I don’t want to be involved, I will give birth to my child in peace and take good care of him because fathers like you are hopeless, I’d rather let him be fatherless than have a father like you.” Armani walked up to me and as he leaned close to my ear, he uttered a few words; he said “you think you are tough, let us see who has the last laugh by the time I’m done with you.” He started hitting me again with his belt and without hesitation, I stabbed him on his hand with the knife in my hand and immediately he fell to the ground, he wanted to get up to hit me again, this time I closed my eyes and stabbed him in his stomach and dropped the knife right beside him. My kitchen was bloody and so were my hands after touching him, my eyes were red and baggy because I had suffered in the hands of Armani. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do but I had to do it. I ran to the phone and called 911; they came in a hurry and rushed Armani to the hospital.
After a couple of hours, Armani died. I cried not because I killed him, but because I let myself go to a man that was not up for it. I thought he was worthy to be called a man but little did I know that he was a beast in disguise, he wore a mask to cover up the other side of him. I fell stupidly for Armani and it’s never going to happen again. I told myself that I would never get married to any man ever again. Two months later, my son was born and a funny thing is that I named my son Armani.
20 years later, here I am, my son is 20 years old, he is in college, and he is doing very great. Sitting here in this couch reminds me about Armani, anytime I reflect back to what had happened the other night, I would shed a tear and the anger and rage would just build up. A true beast he was in disguise!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

What do you say pt 2

DO I SAY TO THEM IT WILL BE ALRIGHT
OR TELL THEM NEVER TO GO OUT AT NIGHT
OR SAY NEVER HAVE A BOY AS YOURFRIEND
OR RAPE MIGHT BE YOUR FATE IN THEEND

DO I TELL THEM TO CARRY A KNIFE
SO THEY CAN PROTECT THEIR OWNLIFE
OR BETTER STILL THEY CARRY A GUN
SO THEY FEEL SAFER WHEN THEY AREALONE

OR SAY TO THEM "GOD IS YOURAVENGER"
AND WOULD COME THROUGH WHENEVER YOU ARE INDANGER

DO I GIVE THEM A HUG, A KISS OR A SHOULDER TOREST
AND TRY TO NUTURE THEM BACK TO THEIR VERYBEST
OR ASK THAT THEY NEVER LEAVE THEIR HOUSE
AND NOT TO LET IN ANYONE EVEN A MOUSE

DO I SAY TO THEM THAT LIFE ISUNFAIR
WHATEVER THEY GO THROUGH NO ONE WOULDCARE
OR TELL THEM TO WORK A LITTLE HARDER
AND PRAY WITHOUT SEASON TO GOD OURFATHER

DO I SAY TO THEM THEY WILL ROT INHELL
FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO INNOCENTGIRLS
OR SAY TO THEM TO CHANGE THEIR WAYS
IF NOT THEY WOULD END UP INGRAVES

DO I KEEP QUIET
DO I SPEAK
IF I DONT ACTAM I WEAK
WORDS OR ACTION SHOULD I PICK
VIOLENCES
WORDS OR REACTION CAN I TRULY MAKE A DIFFERENCE

What do you say pt 1

What do u say to the man on a bike
or to man who says he is taking a hike
or to the gilr u see at d grocery store
or to the begger on the street asking for more

what do u say to d man riding a bus
or to the man who just got a nu lexus
or to the hudlums on d street or the jacked up players
or to the family indoors saying their night prayers

what do u say to the girls that r victims of rape
or to d devilish beings who busted their grapes
or to the world that is so full of sin
or to God i give all glory to him

What do u say to the children at the park
or to the parent and guradians watching their backs
or to the kids who get molested
or to the molester who gets arrested

what do u say to these words of distress
or to my heart that has no access
or to me writing this down
or to my face that wears on a frown
or to the world that keeps spinning round
or to these words that i just found

this is not a rap or a street side verse
or a drama or a prose or a minute made guess
its what i think shud be said to them
thats wot made me write out this poem!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Pure Fiction

She is just venting!!

I can’t keep living like this. We started together but when we got closer we knew we weren’t meant for each other, so we went our separate ways. We stopped talking for a long period of time and then we started off again. This time you had a girl and I had dude. You kept telling me how much u missed me and how much u wanted to kiss me and stupidly I actually started falling all over again. The news in full is "IM STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU, I JUST CANT GETCHU OUTTA MY SYSTEM." Wait a minute I thought we were supposed to be just friends, why in d world am I falling over you again when I have a boo and u have yours 2... Look and I’m dead up, straight up this time, I don’t want to be in it with you anymore, I love who I’m with a whole lot and it will cause him pain for me leave him..No I’m not that harsh, c'mon, u have to understand, u have a girl and I have a dude and I’m guessing u love your babe a lot. I really shouldn’t have a problem with you being my friend but on a 2nd thought I think there would be a problem especially if my boo should fine out u tried 2 kiss me or what not or whatever...We cant continue like this..It’s just wrong... NO!! u cant tell me u love me and I cant tell u I love u either...We agreed to go our separate ways and its really time for us to abide by that...I’m very done, I cant come back to you, its completely over, u had your chances but then u blew it all...No, I’m sorry, I’m done for good and this is goodbye and by the way, it was a pleasure meeting sum1 like you....I got to say this "I loved you like crazy, i had made up my mind that i was going to marry you but then u screwed up..Not once, not 2ce but 3 times.."
This is d final goodbye...
Goodbye!

My encounter wiv a Calabar Man

This is really not the story of my life but its part of it..i dnt drive but im learning how 2 or what not( im tired of d bus and d train mehyn..frustrating). mite get my permit in december... anywaiz, i go on d bus and train every weekday 2 get 2 skul and all dat good stuff, i remember when i didnt have a cell phone, i used 2 ask people 2 use their fone or whatever and dey gave it 2 me 2 use..so i finally got my celly and when pple ask 2 use my fone i give em to use..(i believe in reciprocating kindness..ya dig).i was just there at 5 points train station waiting or the eastbound train 2 school yeah, i was jamming 2 my ipod and stuff then this dude sitting next 2 me asked 2 use my fone,i gave it 2 him or whatever sha. i noticed that whoever he called didnt pick up the fone so he gave it back 2 me...d train came and i hate sitting beside guys on d trian, cuz they wont let u rest..so i sat on this 2-sitter and then i put my bag on d second sit...all 4 d guy 2 ask 2 sit beside me...in my mind i was like( ooooooooooooo now, is it by force, there are other vacant seats, must u sit beside me) i sha shifted my bag..the dude now asked me for where i was going(i noticed he had an accent, i was sha tryna place the accent), and then i looked at him like cum whats ur bizness, i sha said avondale station, he now asked are u going 2 school...in my mind i was like(uh duh..cant u see my skul bag) i was like yeah...he sha noticed that i didnt wanna say anyfng cuz i was giving him attitude...anywaiz i got off at my stope..then i got on d direct bus 2 my school sha, then i got a phone call from the number he called and then i picked it up and here is the conversation that took place...

me: (using pho ne of course) hello
him: (wiv one kinda calabar accent) hello how are you
me: fine, may i ask who is calling please???
him: the guy u gave ur fone 2 at the station
me: and im like hmm interesting
him:so what r u doing after school?
me: stuff...
oh shocks my teacher is here i will continue later....


him: so today is friday, maybe i should come and pick u up from ur house so that u can come and know my house.
me: hmm ok...when
him:saturday
me:thats fine by me
him: nice talking tyou, i like u , u are so good, i like u alot.
me: uhm...u dnt even know me at all, where do u go off saying u like sum1 u have seen only once in ur life and for like 15mins
him: i dunno, i just feel this kind of connection between us
me: uh yah ok, i have a class right now and i dnt need this early in the morning.(It was about 7.30am, i had 8.00 class)
him: ook, just call me after ur class
me:in my mind (because u pay my fone bill abi???) ok sure i will.
him: ok bye bye oo, greet ur teacher
me: in my mind (afam spiro) sure i will.


............3hrs later...
Was laffin and playing wiv lawrence and ib, making fun of people just having fun in the upper part of the student center.
grrrr grrrr(my fone vibrates)
me: hello
him: hi, what is ur name?
me: after how many hours ya just asking for my name
him:(laffin)
me:abby
him: he said one kinda strong name like this, i cant even remember.
me: i was like nice 2 meet u
him: ok so, how are u getting home today
me: (being all rude) how did i get 2 skul 2 day?
him: so u will enter bus ehn
me: uh..yah...
him: can i be ur friend
me: i have enough i dnt need anymore
him: please now
i was still speaking pho ne by d way...
i just changed mehn..even lawrence and ib wur like DAYUM GIRL WUSUP WIV THAT????
me: na by force 2 be ur friend, i say no na...which onez..
him:(all stunned) where r u from
me: Nigeria..duhhh
him: abeg na abby, just be my friend na
me: see as u be, i say i no want, i go call police ooo
him: call them , i go tell them say na likeness way cause am
me:( al frustrated from all the begging) u know what, if u know wusup wiv u ehn, u wont try ijebu girl, cuz i will do juju 4 u
him: do na, i go do my own 2..
me: (i was scared)....beep beep beep
i hung up...then he kept calling...for like a week or morethat dude stalked my life..ever since then if sum1 says "do u have a cellphone i can use?" imma be like " uh uhn dnt got one"......

Crazy man..i fear mayne...he stalked my life, he left me like voice messages and text messages every dawg on day....i tire... im sure glad d man has stopped calling me....(that is after a lot of prayer..binding d evil mayne)
shoooooooo!

The Reason Why She'z Gay...

I was walking down buffington road after a long day at school. Was listening to alicia keys and bopping my head at the same time..i thot 2 myself" this chic is the bomb".. It was about 8.00pm at night and i had 2 walk down that dark road with no street lights. "Oh shit its so freezing cold, i just wanna get home and take a shower and sleep"..For some sick reason i thot i hurd sum1 following me and then i stopped and hurd nuffin. when i continued i cud still feel sum1 following me, then i turned back and saw a tall dude, ark, cudnt rili see his face, holding a big bag dressed in black and then i thot"maybe he is walking down that road too" then all of a sudden d pace at which the man was walking increased..and i didnt feel right about it and then i increased my pace as well.. all of a sudden i hurd "Excuse me, do u have change for a 20" i acted like i didnt hear and then i was so bleeping scared..i started running and the man started chasing me. I ran and screamed nobody hurd..then the man grabbed my jacket and then held me tite and i screamed.." i shouted what do u want from me" and then he says all i want is sum pussy" and i shouted i cant give u none, im only 16 and im still a virgin and i cant do it..he is like strip or i will be forced 2 fuck the hell outta you.. please leave me alone i cant do it..next thing. DOOOH!! he pushed me on d floor...brought out a knife and cut my pants off...screaming "HELP ME, HELP ME!!!" he fell flat on me and then the next thing.."oo yeah girl, u feel so good" "screaming and crying , fussing and fighting" he felt no pity for me, thrusting in and out and in and out and in and out...when he was done, he pick my lil purse and ran away wiv it....got up, packed up the rest of my life and walked home, went into my room and locked myself up for days..my sister tried 2 talk 2 me, but i didnt wanna hear anyfng, my bro-in-law tried but i didnt listen, my mom and dad also came all the way from 9ja, i didnt open up...then after a month i came out and told them the story and i swore that any man that shud lay hands on me again would die and i would never ever get married and that man will never see peace till he dies and even when he dies, God will never answer his prayers...This is the reason why shes gay. She hates men, except her father..i dnt blame her..

Pure fiction!!! NOT REAL!

Random Thots

You over there wiv the spiderman skul bag...are u friggin kidding me, do u fnk u r going to kindergarten.. even those in kindergarten wear louis vuiton skul bags or whatever..pssh..grow up silly.

you over there looking at me, havent u ever seen a black girl wiv low curly hair b4..oh yeah im sure u saw eva on america's next top model..get ur eyes off me b4 i pluck em out myself.

you over there in dat raggidy outfit..did u take a look at d mirror b4 u left ur house today..didnt u see that what u have on is yuck! go hide ur face in shame or cover ur self up wiv a long jacket! ugh!

you over there, come what are u feeling like, u must have been deceived that u can speak good english..well u actually can but please we all know so stop making noise about it. thank u!

you over there"im looking for a dime, thats on top of d line, cute face, thin waist wiv a big behind"...im not gay so im not singing for u..u do have a big behind..but u are FAT!! and u aint got a cute face..so stop acting like FAT BASTARD and d phunk outta my face..ugh!

you over there, y wont u just accept who you are, stop thinking abou what others fnk about u, u arent in this life becuz of dem, just do u..dnt say becuz i have all these pimples on my face im not going out of my house, bitch i got pimples too, and that stop me from going outta my house..learn to walk wiv ur shoulders high and think sky high

you over there...dayummmm u are such a cutey..but i cant date u..ya too fine of a bruvah and plus ur finess makes u look gay..sorry, just d fact.

you over there, yeah you, dnt put ur head down..fnk out loud if u want to, aint nobody stopping you..we love u, we are family, so yah its mandatory...

you over there, typing this blog..what d hell do u fnk ya typing
shut up conscience..lemme do me, imma type whatever d phunk i wanna type..ok..now scramp!!!!!

People

There r a lot of people you meet, some r d good, d bad, d bitter, d idiot, d big fool, d hater , d quiet, d ugly..and d list is endless...i have met alot of people in my short course of life and up till today, i dunno y i fail to recognise d people that r there and will be there for a long time rather than those dat r just dere for the minute.. its just crazy..i mean i meet new people and i totally forget about d old ones..thats not right..thats not what its supposed to be like... Its very allowed to make friends, but dont forget about the ones that were there before...

my life as a Qc girl..
qc is a crazy skul, enjoyed my stay there, met different pple..met one of my best friends there and ish, but there was a point i just became sumfn else, i failed to recognise some true facts and ish..i wanted to do things my way..i went astray, i became d total opposite of what i am now..i regret some things i did, some mistakes i made and some mistakes like this remain permanent and create a whole in ur life that can neva be sealed up again..Thank God for d life i live now...

my life as a Georgia Perimeter girl
georgia perimeter college, i didnt like d fact that i was there becuz there was so much drama...too many fngs going on and d skul was anoda 9ja united at least one of d campuses i went to..i met some people, heck i even met one of my bf's.thats gist for anoda day..we dint even last at all..i met this chic,alot of people discouraged me and told me ish about her dat she is not d right person to hang wiv and all..i ced no, that im sure she isnt dat bad..until i built a friendship wiv her...wrong move..till today i cant stand d chic..she did so many fngs to me, i kept my cool until i decided to go off on her..i dealt wiv her and put her in her place and till today we r not friends again...i hardly use d word hate cuz its a strong word..i dislike her wiv everyfng in me...I lived a different life in gpc..i dint feel like me while i was there...

My life in Howard CC
this skul is what i call a skul, i love it..i like my instructors heck i even like my friends...but drama is beginning to knock on my door and im not ready for it..shud i open d door for d drama to come in so dat i can get over it or shud i still hold on tite till d drama forces itself in..y does it havta be me..

i have learned something..u dnt need alot of friends to be a better person..u can be a better person wivout friends and me...i love d people i call friends that r rili friends...

a friend is sweet
a friend is nice
a friend is kind
a friend is always there
a friend is honest
a friend is dependable
a friend is a companion
a friend is a friend and will remain a friend till d end...

people on d other will remain people..love dem or hate dem, dey still gon be d same ass whipping mofo's!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

SOMETIMES!!

sometimes i feel like i have accomplished alot but really nothing and i mean nothing at all has been done.
sometimes i feel like i am loved by the entire universe and sometimes i feel like no one really notices me.
sometimes i feel like there is no me, but really im here on earth and its a blessing, no one can take that away from me.
sometimes, i feel like i am a superwoman, but really i have the strength of a bird.
sometimes i feel like i love someone but really i dont love that person, i just like the person alot.
sometimes,we have to take advantage of this life that has been given to us, because if not for the love a friend of mine has for us all, we wont be here.
sometimes we have to appreciate every single thing that is done for us or has been given to us, because the moment we feel the joy in us, we forget about what we went thru to get that joy.
sometimes we need to respect ourselves as well as others because i believe im not the only one that thinks respect is earned.
sometimes we need to be kind to ourselves as well as others because wen others r kind to us, we tend to take them for granted, there is nothing wrong in reciprocating kindess.
sometimes, its ok to dislike somethings and some people not unnecessarily buh because they did something to hurt u so bad that u r finding it very hard to forgive them.
sometimes its not bad to shut down somepeople that might not be of essence to u.
sometimes, its ok to regret somethings done in the past, but that doesnt mean we shud dwell in there as well.
sometimes its hard for me to choose what i want buh the thing about life is that, if u make a mistake one time, u r given anoda opportunity to fix it up, its left for u to find that opportunity again..

they say opportunity comes but once, thats a lie...Opportunity comes everyday, its left for u to pay attention and grab it...

im thankful for the people in my life right now, whether new born or old, im appreciative of everyone. I love those hu love me and those who hate me, i love you too....

x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.

Long and Possibly Boring

ok so im taking five courses this semester or whatever and all of them are kinda like stress-free..i fnk so sha. well there is this particular class i have, its so friggin long, its 3hrs long and i have it once a week, its Theatre appreciation..i dunno what possessed me to register for that class sef. newaiz sha, lemme yarn u guys how i survive in that class...

TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE A LONG AND POSSIBLY BORING CLASS
1.)make sure u get to class early, so that u can get a good seat, well its not like there are alot of people in d class but just for tardiness sake, be in class early...
2.)make sure u bring ur bag, or ur book-binder wiv ur notebook, textbook and ofcourse ur pencil pouch containing all ur necessary writing materials(organization is key)
3.)have a scrap book or scrap paper on d side as well
4.)make sure u take a bottle of water or soda or jucie or whatever...but not alcohol cuz u need it, in my case i need it cuz my instructor brings us crackers and cookies and candies and chocs and all so i need a drink and ish...
5.)when the lecture starts, dont think, mehn this is gonna be a long and boring class so im not gonna listen..try listening at first but if ur attention keeps driftng away then u are certain its a boring class.
6.)next, grab ur scrap paper or scrap book and write stuff down, draw stuff just be creative.(creativity is key here)
7.)never disrespect her by bringing out ur fone or ur ipod or ur cdplayer or ur walkman or ur mp3 or ur zne or whatever
8.)when she gives u a ten minute break, use it wisely, well what i wud do is, sharply bring out my fone, text sum1 or log on to yahoo messenger or go on facebook or whatever sha.
9)when the break is up, put ur fone away, cuz u know she is gonna put up a movie
10.)dnt get too excited cuz its one of those antiquated ones...uughhh!!! movies like "kiss me pertruchio" or "medea"....rubbish and nonsense gba!!!
11.)u know she will turn off d lights
12.)so when the movie starts, watch a lil bit but then when u start feeling sleepy, do not fight nature, that is mother nature calling(obedience is key)
13.)take a nice position on ur desk and u can go ahead and drift away, make sure u dont snore oooo..cuz she will just catch u...
14.)towards d end of d movie make sure u force urself to wake..i know ind ur dream this is d part where u kiss ur prince-charming or ur cindarella..but sorry ehn, u will continue that dream at home...pele
15.)d movie ends at about 3.20pm on d dot...but dnt leave class immeadiately, take ur time cuz she mite announce important information...so wait for her to start packing up her thing and then u may leave.
16.)walk staright to d bathroom, ladies straighten, put some more lipgloss on..feel like "lil mama"...hehe..dudes u dnt need to straigthen up
17.)walk out of d bathroom feel good about urself and when u get home...go and jack like a MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
this way, u wont get lost in class...
this concludes my life in THEATRE APPRECIATION 101!!



i wrote this note in february...
and by d way i dropped the class!! ugh!!!...lolz